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nicole terena

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[07 Sep 2005|03:05pm]
so happy-birthday-to-me day is this saturday and i have managed to get the night off. half of me doesn't care and just wants to sit at home and watch a movie, but the other half thinks it's my birthday, and that's cause to celebrate with friends. i would have people to my house, but i live in a studio apartment, so that's out. i have no clue what to do.

any ideas? i could really use some suggestions
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[31 Aug 2005|01:09pm]
my new job is awesomeawesomeawesome. AWESOME. i love the fast pace, the constant change of the menu and the random multi-tasking i get to do. i'm having so much fun that 8 hour shifts completely fly by. everything is hands on, trial and error, do it until you get it right, which is the way i learn best. the amount of information i am actually retaining from each shift has surprised even me. the other surprise is how physically demanding the job is - i have muscles aching that i didn't know i had.
i know it's only been a couple of weeks, but i'm really happy with my decision to take time away from school. i'm loving the change, and i think i may have found what i want to do with the rest of my life.

it seems i'm going to be working 70 hours per week on average, and about 25 of those are unpaid. i haven't gotten into the routine of my new schedule yet, but i know i will. people ask if i think i might be biting off more than i can chew, but they are forgeting one very important fact - i'm secretly a super hero (duh). ha, no, but really, i'm going to be busy, but i think it's worth it. if this is the direction i want my life to go in, i know i just have to run with it.

in other news, my 20th birthday is in ten days. i wish i were insanely rich so i could throw myself a really awesome party in the tradition of the my super sweet 16 show. needless to say, i'm looking for a plan b..
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[03 Aug 2005|02:05pm]
i have landed myself an interview for an apprenticeship position at janos and the j bar this afternoon in hopes of working under one of the best pastry chefs in tucson. free top of the line training that includes hands on experience in the kitchen of an internationally acclaimed four star restaurant.. ya just can't beat that.
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[15 Jul 2005|01:18pm]
summer is half-ish over and i haven't managed to read even half of a book, which is ridiculous considering i usually read all summer long

SO, any suggestions? i feel completely out of the loop when it comes to what's happening in books recently.. please point me in the right direction

ayla, i'm counting on you to offer at least two quality reads.. no pressure :)
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[29 Jun 2005|07:57pm]
california was lots of fun. it was nice to get away from tucson for a few days and lay around on the beach in the beautiful san diego weather. making a good situation even better was the cut and color that bridget gave me.. my hair finally looks good again! she did an awesome job (thanks again, bridge, for letting us stay with you, we had a great time)

ian booked a show for his friends' band. they're coming all the way from the quad cities (for all you geographically challanged individuals, that's in iowa which is super far away) to play a show tomorrow night at the basement at 7:30. i cannot promise you that they're fantastic or anything, but i know they would really appreciate the support. so come on down... worse comes to worse, they're not very good but you get to hang out with your truly for an hour or so
7:30 tomorrow night at the basement. please don't make me hang out alone..

if i promised i would call you tonight, i'm sorry but i'm exhausted.
until tomorrow, adios
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[23 Jun 2005|12:17pm]
i wish i lived in a city that had a really great public transportation system, then it wouldn't matter that my transmission randomly decided to fail internally yesterday after only 53,000 miles of use. i somehow have the only honda that ever breaks down before 200,000 miles. i try not to feel sorry for myself too often, but i've definitely got some self-pity going on right now.. two hours for a quick transmission flush has turned into a week with no car while i'm staying all the way on the north side with my brother and have to get to two different jobs every single day. the original $100 i expected to owe is now $2,400 worth of parts and labor. BUMMER

but we planned a shotgun trip out to california to hang out with bridget and get our hairs did, so i'm happy. as frustrating and ridiculous as these next few days might wind up being, i just keep thinking about seeing bridget and the beach and my hair not sucking anymore. these are all good things.

p.s. have a i mentioned yet that on saturday i'm going to my younger cousin's wedding shower? some things just don't make any sense at all.
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[05 Jun 2005|09:41am]
[ mood | busted brain ]

i'm up all night against my will
my medicine won't let me feel
anything at all

the doctor gave me sleeping pills and i took one
then i felt all alone sleeping like a stone

i dream about the autumn leaves
when you were one falling into me
where are you now?

the t.v. burns a hollow room
i cleaned it up, now i don't know what to do
i'm just lying down

i guess i live up in my head
i call you up, but your phone is dead
and i need too much

the doctor said i need a cure
but what i've got he's not really sure
and i won't say much

and babe, you were the light
but now you are the dark

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[01 Jun 2005|02:51pm]
so my great uncle, julius caesar (seriously, that's his name) died yesterday. we weren't super close or anything, but he was a really neat guy. more than anything, i'm incredibly sad to think of how my great aunt alice must be feeling. she's lost her one and only someone, and that's just unbelievably sad.

i am beyond tired of attending funerals.. but the service is tomorrow morning and i will be there.
apparently all black funeral gear is to be my life's uniform..
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[21 May 2005|07:24pm]
my cousin's graduation party was this afternoon. just as i expected, every human being there asked where ian was. tried to keep the answer simple, but i should have know that word travels fast in my family, and apparently everyone knew the trip had originally included the both of us. i felt like the biggest loser trying to explain the situation in a way that didn't make either of us look bad (because for whatever reason i don't want my family to be upset). needless to say, that wasn't much fun.

on a much less annoying note, i finally found a place to live. i move friday. it'll be nice to get out of this house and begin a new chapter in a new home. i know it's only a mile away, but it's still something different. for the first time in years, literally, i feel like i have something that's all mine. i don't know how it'll feel once i'm in there and some time has passed, but for right now i like that.

mmmwhatever. tonight, i'm getting dressed up and we're going out to some ridiculous night club or dance party or whatever it is, and i refuse to worry about aaaaaany of this. as dane cook would say, "i just want to form a circle around our pocketbooks and shoes and just dance.. just dance it out" (it's much less funny when i say it). i trust my cousin to show me a good time.
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[21 May 2005|11:20am]
a goodnight's sleep put things back in perspective.
this morning i find myself inspired by packing tape, moving boxes and kelly clarkson's "since you've been gone."
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[20 May 2005|10:30pm]
throwing up at work is bad
being sick and alone is bad
working five double shifts is bad
landlords coming into my house early tomorrow morning is bad

being so exhausted physically and emotionally that i feel somewhat dettached from reality is maybe the best thing i am experiencing at the moment, and it's not even that great

definitely time for bed.
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[19 May 2005|11:16am]
i want to break free
i want to break free from your lies
you're so self-satisfied, i don't need you
i've got to break free, god knows i want to break free

i've fallen in love
i've fallen in love for the first time
and this time i know it's for real
i've fallen in love, god knows i've fallen in love

it's strange but it's true
i can't get over the way you love me like you do
but i have to be sure when i walk out the door
oh how i want to be free, baby

but life still goes on
i can't get used to living without you by my side
i don't want to live alone, but god knows i've got to make it on my own
so baby can't you see, i've got to break free
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[13 May 2005|12:40pm]
steve misner is finally back for the summer. my favorite thing about him is his consistancy; he is always dependable, faithful, trustworthy, honest. he keeps me laughing no matter the circumstance, and i never doubt that he will be there to pick me up every single time i stumble. every time. he goes to a great university, loves his family, challanges himself in school, knows what he wants to do with his life, and works his butt off every summer to put himself through school. AND we always have fun together.
basically, if dating stephen misner weren't one of the most hilarious/frightening/ridiculous thoughts ever known to man, it might actually work.. so long as he never had to like, touch me and whatnot.
[let me remind you that aside from being one of my best friends, he is also my cousin's ex, my ex's best friend, technically related to me and in a committed relationship with someone else. it wouldn't exactly be a storybook romance, but apparently nothing is these days..]
either way, i'm glad he'll be here to get me through these next couple of months.


i keep wanting to say something like, "why would i be bummed out about not getting to see the mississippi river when i'm going to hang out on california beaches instead?!" but then i think about it and realize that i just so happen to be the only pathetic loser who really wants to go to iowa for their summer vacation.
i also tried to say "i'm so over it" ..but i'm so not.
this is all so silly. sillysillysilly.

oh to be young and in love.. [barf]
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[12 May 2005|06:12am]
already at the library. as of one p.m. this afternoon i will have completed my second year of college. somehow it doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment.

at 6 in the morning, having no one to validate me with affection at home, i turn to the vast world of the internet for companionship.
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[10 May 2005|04:29pm]
back to this same old square
can't hardly believe this is happening again.. i mean seriously
megahuge gap in my tiny soul, missing my baby already
trying to swallow up my shriveled little heart
thinking about the concept of "some day" and how life's just not that easy

eff relationships man
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[09 May 2005|12:15pm]
big trip to small city is no more, and with no explaination
i won't push for words on these days of essays and examinations
but i will eventually need to know why
whywhywhywhywhy can't i go?

all my life i have never progressed without consequence
and i suppose this flight was a progression of some sort
thus, consequently, here come the consequences

[04 May 2005|03:34pm]
things have been crazy; two jobs, full-time schoolage, finals, blahblahblah
molly moves in nine days
i'm going to iowa in fourteen
classes are finished, but finals are hanging directly over my head
need to find a new house asap in order do that moving thing all over again

time seems to be moving so quickly
i feel half super connected
and half like i'm watching things as they happen to me

just to re-cap,
i still miss everyone who has moved away the past couple of years,
wish my friends played more active roles in my life and vice versa,
want more tattoos,
have almost no dollars,
have mickey romero flashbacks every day,
and want to get the heck out of tucson
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[25 Apr 2005|08:33pm]
i started at zona 78 tonight, and it's official - i've got a second job four to five shifts per week.
thumbs up to making bank this summer

my house finally rented out, so no more obnoxious walkthroughs. the new guy wants me to move out a few weeks early, so i'm going to try to find a new place this weekend. we'll see how that goes i guess.

ian's 21st birthday officially begins three hours and twenty seven minutes from now.
heaven help us..

p.s. bridget, i love you, i miss you, i crossmyheart i'll call you no later than saturday. things have obviously been a bit crazy, sorry for my lacking support via telephone this past week.
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[13 Apr 2005|11:31pm]
sitting in the ilc while ian looks for books. i should be studying, but i got bored.
job hunt begins first things monday - hopefully it won't be too difficult to get a part-timer this early on
no longer going to portland, but definitely going to iowa in may - for real this time - we bought the plane tickets and everything

um, that's all
back to school work..
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[04 Apr 2005|02:20pm]
tax season comes to a close in 11 days, which means my income goes down by about 80 bucks a week. i'm really super excited to do all kinds of fun things this summer (speaking from experience, only about 3% of them will work out) so i need to be making more money, rather than less. this means i need another job megasuper bad.. any bright ideas?

the next few months:
molly moves in less than six weeks. i could go into detail about how bummed i am about it, and how my friends always move away yaddayadda, but i'll leave that for a later date.
i move into a new place in about seven weeks. no idea where i'm going to live, but i'll figure it out.
trip to iowa to meet the fam and more of ian's friends seems to be happening over the 4th of july, finally, and i'm very much looking forward to it.
if portland with my brother happens, it'll be the middle of july to the middle of august. even if i don't stay out there for the entire month, it'll be a great road trip up the coast and back. plus, becca, sally and lindsey said i can come hang out in their new house once their out there.
i also spoke with robbie walter who has invited me to stay with him and claire in seattle. if i'm up in portland, it'd be very convenient to go them, otherwise i need to find money for another plane ticket and such. it will have been two years since i last saw him..
and, of course, i need to go out to denver to visit my one and only molly. hopefully i can be out there for her birthday in august. if not, maybe for labor day.

basically what this means is it sucks that i'm a semi-poor college student, because i want to do fun things all summer. it also means i need to suck it up and get another job as soon as tax season's over, even though that means holding two jobs while going to school full time during the weeks before finals, and through finals as well.
oh money, you stupid silly little thing.
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